I am a mother....Part 3

Monday September 22, 2008 (Day 11)

My mom arrived at 5.00am and my husband went to fetch her at Duta station. I was left alone but I can’t sleep due to an incident happened a few nites ago. They arrived almost half an hour later and they had their sahur. I continue my sleep till 7.

The straight berpantang regime started again. My mom prepared the bath for me. Later after shower I had my breakfast. Then she put the param (smelly herbs like body scrub) all over my body. Then I have to do the traditional way of body wrapping (nak bernapas pon susah) and bertungku. She monitored everything and forced me to take raw egg (teloq ayam kampong) with honey and turmeric. Baunya mak aiiiiiiiiiiiii…………..rasa cam nk pitam……..i swallowed everything and immediately took a large cup of milo to eliminate the smell and taste in my mouth. Rasa nak muntah……..

She looks better today as the blood count has increased. Alhamdulillah…….. They has changed the oxygen tube and put the oxygen mask on her nose. My baby moves her feet and hands as. We are so happy looking at her that way. It is a very good sign.

Tuesday September 23, 2008 (Day 12)

As my mom is still around. She takes a good care of me. But now I am having the other nightmare. The constipation. I hardly poo poo and afraid that the stitches will torn apart. Adoi laaaaaaaa……..horror. I tried to take few things but it doesn’t work. I went to the clinic and the doctor gave me pills and liquid medication to ensure that I can poo poo easily. Woke up in the middle of the nite to poo poo but I ended up sitting on the toilet bowl doing nothing and nothing came up.

My baby seems better today as she moves her hands and feet a lot. I am so relief to see her that way. But me myself having troubles with this constipation disaster

Wednesday September 24, 2008 (Day 13)

It is so wonderful being a mother. The feelings which I can tell eventough my baby is still in NICU. I touched and talked to my baby every day. I talked about everything. While taking to her, I touched her hands and she managed to hold my hands so tight. I am so glad when she holds my hands even though I am so much worry of her.

Thursday September 25, 2008 (Day 14)

My baby is getting better. She moves her feet and hands a lot. Her papa always tickles her small feet and makes her uncomfortable (geli la papa…..I am more like mama tak tahan geli….hehehe……..)

As usual, the mama will only hold her hands and talk to her. Sometimes she will open her little eyes to calm her mama as her mama is unable to control her tears. Papa warns mama if she keep crying, she better not to visit Humaira daily.

How could I stop my tears by looking at her in the ventilator with wires and tubes. I can’t even kiss or hug her. That is the most I really want to do now.

The breast pump arrived today. I asked ina to buy it for me while she is staying in Copenhagen. They came back for good early this month.

Friday September 26, 2008 (Day 15)

We are late visiting Humaira today. We reached the hospital almost 1.00pm. As today is Friday, we need to rush as my husband will need to perform Friday prayer at the mosque. She opened her eyes for a while and when we are about to leave, she cried. The first time I hear she cries after 15 days giving birth to her. It is so touching. I don’t want to leave her alone but my husband cannot wait any longer as it is almost the prayer time. I was so sad and as usual I cried. How could he let his daughter alone. He said that she is fine but I don’t think so. I am so worry thinking of my baby now.

Saturday September 27, 2008 (Day 16)

My mom left in the afternoon with my brother. He is on Hari Raya holiday. Only 2 of us left celebrating raya away from home this year.

My baby gives a very good responds now as she is free from infections, milk tolerate, no blood transfusion needed. They just need to monitor her lung and heart as other internal organs are fine. She can wee wee and poo poo like normal babies.

Sunday September 28, 2008 (Day 17)

I visited her a bit late today as her papa woke up late. We went to the hospital after zohr prayer. She is just fine and getting better. I miss her a lot and I can’t wait to be with her and bring her back with us.

Monday September 29, 2008 (Day 18)

Thought that my husband is taking leave today as Hari Raya is just 2 days ahead but he needs to go to work today. Fetched me around 12 to visit our Humaira. As we reached there, the nurse has just finished giving her milk and she was sleeping facing down (Nampak mcm tgh sujud). She looks so cute that way. She moves her knee to make herself comfortable. Can you imagine looking at her small bump moving. I am so glad that she is fine and healthy. My baby, mama can’t wait to hug and kiss you.

Today is the first time after 18 days I managed to control myself and I no longer crying while visiting her.

Tuesday September 30, 2008 (Day 19)

A day before hari raya. My husband takes a day off today to go for shopping. We planned to cook nasi jagung and ayam merah for tomorrow. I saw it on tv at Ketuk-Ketuk Ramadhan Sheila Rusly. This is what I’ve been doing for the whole month during confinement. I will only take a short nap at 12.00noon as well as after 3.00pm.

We visited our Humaira Safiyyah in the afternoon and she is having her good time sleep. Mata pun tanak bukak bila mama panggil. Hmmmm…….tidoq la dear….cepat besaq skit anak mama nih

Wednesday October 1, 2008 (Day 20)

Selamat Hari Raya, Humaira Safiyyah! Today is our first Hari Raya together. I woke up early and cook nasi jagung. I cooked ayam masak merah last night so makes my life easier. Her papa woke up and ready for prayer. Her ‘Nyang’ (Great grandmother) called me. She was crying while talking to me. This is the first time we are not celebrating Hari Raya in our hometown.

Later we headed to visit our little princess with our matching baju kurung and baju melayu. Mujoq la mama muat baju kurung tu. Kalo tak ada la org nak pakai pants and shirt pagi raya. She is so fine today. Having her good time alone there. As usual, her mama will talk to her and touch her hands and feet.

We headed to Sabak Bernam visiting my kak and my nieces and nephew celebrating raya in Parit Baru (my abang’s kampong)