Sunday October 12, 2008 (Day 31)
She is still on drip. No milk given and she loss about 10g of her weight. She is now 1.24kg (1240g) but she remains active as usual even though the needles for drip and antibiotic still on her both feet. I am so afraid that this may hurt her bur she remain calms. Adessssssss…………mama dia plak la yg lebey2…apadaaaaaaa…………..
I saw her diaper not in the position. Sampai tercabut strap…….I move her a bit so that I can pull back the diaper. And she’s a bit angry as I disturb her. It show’s from her blushing cheek and her movement. Kena pujuk la plak……..demand betoi la anak mama nih….
Then her papa recording few minutes movie of her. Dia pun apalagi…tunjuk perangai la…bukak mata luas2, angkat kaki ngn tangan bagai. Habih tok gelak la nanti tgk cucu perangai camnih….
Monday October 13, 2008 (Day 32)
The doctor started giving her milk again today since 8.00am. She seems tolerate with the milk. She is able to wee wee and poo poo like usual. I’m so glad to hear that. At the moment, she is not having any colic so good for her. I love to touch her pipi seketoi and her hidung penyet (this is what papa said)
Tuesday October 14, 2008 (Day 33)
Our little princess is given 9ml of milk and the consumption increase every time the shift for nurses’ changes. She has long fingers like papa and her feet like mama (jangan kaki besaq cam mama dah la...jenuh cari kasut mahai…kasut morah tak celuih….huhuhuhu……..) and I think she inherit my gene more than my husband (muka cam cina2 skit laaaaaaa…….ngengengenge……..mata tu tak tau la cemana….kecik cam mama la kot)
We laughed while looking at her reaction. Mama segan betoi dekat nurses yg ada. Anak mama dok tak diam. But the nurses said it is good for her as she remains active. Her roommates cry a lot but she, moves a lot.
Wednesday October 15, 2008 (Day 34)
We visited Humaira Safiyyah (Aunty Umi called her Che Piah) after maghrib as her papa had meetings all day today. Upon arrival, she is sleeping but I can see from the wash basin that she moves her feet. Adoi la anak mama……..so very the active (macam mak dia jugak la…..jgn riso yer mama…hikhikhik). She is given 17ml of milk now and I have to express more from now. Luckily I will produce at least 20ml for every 2 hours. Enough for her feeding.
Thursday October 16, 2008 (Day 35)
We arrived and saw our baby sleeping in her best position, tidoq senget. When the nurse is about to feed Humaira, she offered me to hold the syringe for my baby’s feeding. I hold the syringe. It is so much joy as this is the first time I managed to feed her. It feels like I breast feeding her. After feeding, she fall asleep and we left as her papa needs to reach the office by 2.00pm. As usual, her papa will tickle her feet and she will try to keep her feet away from her papa. It’s father and daughter things anyway. I just let both of them fighting each other.
Friday October 17, 2008 (Day 36)
My baby now weighing 1.41kg. As usual I will try to massage her hands and feet every time visiting her. Salah pegang maunya bok pelari kaki tuh. What I do is I will tell her first that I want to massage her and I need to tell her how long I need to take to massage her feet. I will begin with her toes up to her thigh will tell her what are the names of those parts. Her toes, her ankle, her knee, her thigh. I hope she can remember her body parts. So do her hands. Her thumbs, index finger, middle finger, ring finger, small finger. Her wrist, elbow and shoulder. I manage to massage her chest slowly with a sign of I, L n U stands for I LOVE YOU and I say it loud every time I did that.
Saturday October 18, 2008 (Day 37)
Since the raya holiday end, the traffic is so heavy during the weekend. It must be due to these people attending open house here and there. Normally it took about 10 minutes drive to the hospital but since last week, we only managed to reach the hospital after 30 minutes drive. Punya la jem tak sangga.
We reach the hospital in the afternoon. Our little princess seems taking her good sleep. When her papa looks in to her diaper, he told me that our little princess had poo poo. Aiiyaaaaaaaaaa………ni mesti nak suruh mama tukaq diaper nih. I ask the nurse what I should do as I am afraid to change the diaper. Then the nurse instructed me what to do. I know how to manage the babies as I used to help my cousins handling their babies but handling my little princess makes me scared. I am afraid if I might hurt my little princess as she is so small and very fragile.
It took me more than 10 minutes to change her diaper. I wipe using the wet cotton balls until everything clean and put her diaper on. I am so excited as this is the first time I clean her poo poo. My little princess even more excited. She moves a lot and this makes me kelam kabut. My husband recorded everything. I can’t wait to tell my mom that I clean her poo poo. Alahaiiiiiii…….exited betoi la mak sorang nih….malu kt org aihhhhh………hehehehe……….
We spent more than 1 hour there. And we went off for lunch.
Sunday October 19, 2008 (Day 38)
Visited our little princess after zohr. She is sleeping while we arrived there. I think she can feel our arrival as she started moving her feet and hands. I massage her hands and legs. As she cannot tahan her geli, she moves her body and sleep senget. I just let her in that position as she will definitely act against me if I move her body in a straight position.
Dropped by at the supermarket to get some groceries and we drove back home. Planning to do some shopping next week as I may need to be warded soon.
Monday October 20, 2008 (Day 39)
We arrived at 1.30pm but I went to visit our princess alone while my husband is having lunch at the cafeteria as he needs to be in the office by 2.00pm. Normally I will send the milk to the feeding room for storage first and later meet my little princess. Upon arriving at the room, I saw her nose tube is detached from her nose. When I asked the nurse she said they are trying to let he breath on her own. They started to detach it at 10.00am this morning. They will put it on and off every 2 hours to train her breath. Alhamdulillah everything goes well since morning and the nurse said the tube can be remove anytime soon as she has no problem breathing on her own.
I told her tok back in Perlis and her papa on our way back home. Lega hati mama yang gundah gulana nih.
Tuesday October 21, 2008 (Day 40)
Today, 11 years ago my father passed away. He died in front of me. It was so traumatic and it took me more than 5 years to cope with losing him. It was so difficult when I need someone to talk to as I only talk to him when I have problems. Nobody can be a good listener, not even a boyfriend. I miss him a lot everyday. Sometimes I feel that he is so close to me which I can feel he is somewhere around me. Maybe I miss him a lot makes me feel that way.
And today, the doctor removed the breathing aided tube from my little princess’ nose. She can really breathe on her own now. I am so touched and so thankful. She really shows a very good progress. She is given 19ml of milk now and active. I asked the nurse whether she cries a lot as I saw some of her roommates cry so loud and the boy/girl is much smaller than her. The nurse said she will cry when she poops and needs to be changed. I hardly hear she cries every time I visit her. Just a lot of movement here and there. I am afraid that she may turn left and right on her own as the tube already removed.
I talked to her today and told her everything.……
“I lost my father 11 years ago, I have your papa 2 years ago and I have you today. I can’t afford to lose someone that I love again. Promise me that you won’t leave me. I need you to be with me. I need your papa for us”
She seems understand and she hold my hand so tight to calm me down. She is so strong for me and will be stronger for her mama. I called her papa to tell him that the tube has been removed so do her tok back in Perlis. I send text messages to my bestfriends to share my joy with them. Thanks a lot dear friends for always be with me day and night to calm me down throughout this difficult time. I am so glad to have you since the past 15 years. I really appreciate our friendship.
Wednesday October 22, 2008 (Day 41)
We visited our little princess in the evening as her papa attending meetings whole day today. I send the milk to the feeding room and go straight to my princess’ room. Upon arrival, I saw another baby in a cot at my little Humaira’s place and the nurse immediately showed me where my baby is located. They moved her in the middle as today there are a lot of admission to NICU and makes the room a bit crowded. She is still awake when we arrived and give a sweet smile for me while I recording her actions. Kemain lg si kecik nih mcm tau2 ja org nk amik gambaq dia.
Her papa recorded another little Humaira in action and she shows her very good moves while papa recording. Mengeliat sakan….
Thursday October 23, 2008 (Day 42)
We planned to visit her in the evening as the traffic and the parking lot will be less crowded. At 2.00pm after having lunch the nurse called saying that my milk for our little princess almost finished. I need to send more milk for her. Since past few days I had a little bit troubles as I produced less milk. Only 20ml for each time I express my milk. This is so frustrating as my little princess taking more milk now. She is given 20ml for every 2 hours.
I reached the hospital around 3.00pm and had a short chat with her. She smiles to me when saw me there. Hilang rindu mama. As she is getting better and healthier now, she moves a lot sampai melongsoq ke bawah. Mama pun kena la letak Humaira balik elok2 tapi bertahan 2 minit jer. Adoiiiii……..jgn smpi jatuh ct esok dah la. She cheer me up. I feel less worry now and I hope she’s getting bigger and stronger and healthier.
We send milk again in the evening. She is still awake at 9.00pm. Tidoq la awai anak ooiiiiii………jgn tidoq lambat…jenuh mama nak berjaga esok nih…she smiles at her papa and they had some precious father and daughter time together. We left at 10.00 when she’s about to sleep.
Friday October 24, 2008 (Day 43)
I didn’t sleep well last nite and woke up at 6.00am to express more milk for my Humaira. Eventually the things doesn’t do well. I managed to get 60ml since last nite. I quickly drive to the hospital to give my milk. I need to reach there before her feeding time at 8.00. I managed to arrive on time. She is already awake at 7.15. I found out that the cap covering her head was not in the right place. Half of the cap covering her right eye. Macam pirates of the carribean plak mama tgk. Hehehehe…..i managed to snap a few photos of her in that way. I drove back home half an hour later as I don’t feel well.
Upon reaching home, I took a nap and later wake up again to express more milk. I sent another batch of milk for her at 1.30pm. She is awake and I managed to snap few more pics and send mms to few peoples who were asking for her photos. I talked to the nurse telling her that I managed to produced a small amount of milk and started to cry. I was so frustrated because I can’t give her as much as she needs. The nurse told me not to tense about it and I need to relax to produce more milk for my baby.
Send another batch of milk in the evening. When her papa talked to her she smiles. Had papa and daughter precious moment while mama recording their good time. Papa needs to move Humaira back to the right position and as usual It only last 3 minutes or less I think. She opened her little eyes when hear my voice. Smiles and look at me. I wonder if she has dimple like her papa has.
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