Ermmmm..........

We arrived at the hospital last nite almost 9.00pm. She was feeding by the nurse. Alamakkk...tak sempat la mama bg susu....the nurse instructed me to unpack my thing in the recovery room. They gave me the bed which i booked earlier. Melampau mama nih..siap buking2 bilik lg...mentang2 la sumer org dh kenai...

I am a bit nervous and i couldn't sleep until 12 midnite which is little Humaira Safiyyah's feeding time. I feed her and later put her in bed. I know she wanted to sleep with me but i told her that she will sleep with me later at 3.00am as i need to keep her warm under the warmer before we can sleep together.

She behave so well and sleep soundly next to mama at 3.00am. Unfortunately, the other babies next to our room cry the whole nite which disturbed her sound sleep (anak dara mama tak suka bisin2 wooo...........)

We woke up at 6.00am for another feeding and i went off for prayer. 7.30 the nurse came in to bathe the babies who reach 36.8 degree c and above and weight them. My little Humaira today is 1.815kg. Yehaaaaaaaaaaa..........most probably the doctor will discharge her today.

I went to get some breakfast and newspaper and later wait for the paeds to do morning check ups. Good news for us, she agreed to discharged my baby today as she satisfied with her condition (no fever,no apnea etc)

I am so glad to hear that.....Alhamdulillah...after 60days, she will be back with us.

Back in Action

Saturday morning i woke up with fever and running nose. Sudahhhhhhh........jgn la demam...sian anak mama...i took shower, cook breakfast and express my milk. Alhamdulillah....i managed to get 40ml this time. It shows that i can produce more milk now. I feel better as well.

My husband went to visit our little princess alone in the afternoon. He didn't allow me to go. Wanted me to take a rest. Mama pun apa lg.....dh start la dondang sayang...skali kena spin daaaaa......DO NOT CRY!!!!! huhuhuhu......yala yala....mama x teriak la nihhhh........(padahai ayaq mata bergenang2....heheheh)

At last he sent me to the hospital after maghrib prayer and we need to leave by 8.00pm. He keeps warning me for not to cry....ala2 cd rosak plak....menda yg sama ja dok repeat...adoiyaiiiiii........

After 30minutes moment with my little princess, we headed back home. Dapat jumpa sat pun jd la...janji blh peluk cium anak mama....

The good thing is she is now 1.72kg. Cepatnya berat naik. Pipi pun sama naik gak la.....


We went again yesterday and the nurse ask if i am fit enough to be admitted again. I ask if i could be warded the following day so that i can prepare for my things.


I visited her around 12 today and she is so fine. Rasa mcm berat dh naik sebab pipi dh naik. I'll be warded again tonite and will be sleeping with my little princess. A bit nervous but i can't wait to be with her again. Kiss her as much as i want, hug her as long as i can and feed her with my milk......TAK SABAQNYA MAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tak Ketahwan

She lost her weight again yesterday. down to 1.6kg. I was so upset and i was so sad. I can't take this as i feel like i am not a good mother. I was crying all day as i can't really face this. The doctor came to me and talk to me so do the paeds, then later the sister (senior nurse) and the nurses. I still can't hide my sadness.

Later in the afternoon, the sister came in to talk to me and advice me to take a rest for 2-3 days at home. At first i was a bot reluctant to leave my baby there alone as she's been sleeping with me since the past 7 nites. I am afraid that she may be cold at nite and nobody's there to hug and keep her warm. I am worry of everything which i shouldn't be. She convinced me for a few time and later i agreed to take a few days break.

I talked to my mom and i cried throughout the conversation. As usual, my mom cries with me. She calm me down.

I hugged and kissed my baby. I keep saying sorry to her as i have to leave her alone in the hospital. I feel so guilty as i can't take a good care of her.

My husband fetch me after maghrib and we went back home. I was so sad to leave her alone there. I brought back her blanket which i covered her every nite. I can still smell her on that blanket. I slept with the blanket last nite. Had a very bad nite and i had fever as well. I had a very bad dream as well which i woke up in the middle of the nite. Luckily my husband was around and he calm me down.

A Worried Mother

My little Humaira Safiyyah suffer weight loss since i started feeding her on sunday. From 1.73kg, her weight reduced to 1.69kg and today 1.64kg. I am so worry about this. The specialist just came for a visit and i told him that i forced her to take more milk but she refused.

The doctor said not to worry about this as this is normal for them as they started breastfeeding, these babies will have some reduction in weight as they use energy to suck. Do not force your babies to take more milk. Let them take as much as they need day or night.

Haaaaa.......lega mama...dah la anak kecik ja....makin kecik...tp pipinya menten gebu...heheheh.......still active as usual and very demanding now. No bising2, no wet nappy, no swaddle. Swaddle kalu alamat tgn terkeluaq la after 10 mins.

Mama kalut betoi laaaaaaa........Humaira Safiyyah menten jaaaa......and today she had her first bath too!!!!.......

Tidoq sekatil.....

Since our first nite and second nite was not really good, i took a chance to sleep during the day as my little Safiyyah sleeps so that i can prepare for the sleepless nite.

I sleep as early as 9.00pm last nite after nursing her. The nurse woke me up at 10.30 to see her condition. As i look terrible last nite, she asked whether i am doing fine. I told her that i am ok, just lack of sleep the nite before and make me tired.

12.05am my little princess begin her normal routine. I bring her on my bed and nurse her while i am lying down. This make both of us comfortable. She normally feed around 1 hour so that i can take a nap in between. Janji nipple mama masuk mulut....setelllll..........at first i am afraid that she may choke if nursing that way but the nurse said it wn't happen and she guide me how to do. Legaaaaa........

I tried to put her in cot after nursing but it only last for 10 minuts. 1.00am sudah nangis laaaaaa.........i later decided to put her next to me and hug her throughout the nite. Lena la anak mama kena peluk........(sorry pa...i don't mean that....tapi utk kesejahteraan mama n safiyyah, kena la mama buat camtu....kalo dak demam mama). She doesn't accept milk with syringe. Only breastfeeding acceptable. Alamat botoi avent 10 bijik kat rumah tu jd tukun la nanti. Takpa la....simpan utk adik lg 3 tawon.....

I feed her at 1.00am, 2.30, 3.45, 5.00am and 6.30......dan dengan bangganya anak mama lena takdak keryau2 punya....bunyi skit2 ja.....

I went to the toilet around 5.30....truih berbunyi sakan sbb mama takdak.....dengaq sora mama teruih diam....alahai la anak.....perangai terbaru dia......dengaq sora papa semlm truih celik mata luas.....hmmmm.........anak bapak.....so papa....your football buddy is on the way back home.....selamat berjaga dengan anak....mama nak tidoq....heheehehe.......

Our First Nite

My little Humaira has been transferred to recovery room yesterday at 6.00pm. Therefore, i am required to be admitted with her so that i can take care of her as well as breastfeeding her. I was a bit challengging as this would be the first time i need to do everything for her, changing nappy, feeding etc. Everything goes well as her papa arrived after maghrib and wait untill 10.00pm (all parents whose children are here need to leave this NICU by 10.00pm unless any emergency cases)

She is awake untill 10.30 and later has a sound sleep. She woke up again for feeding at 12.30 and i managed to give her 20ml of express milk as she is unable to suck my nipple properly (first time la katakan...mama pun kelam kabut gak...). She sleep around 1.30 and woke up again at 3.30 for another feeding. She really can be papa's football buddy. Pasni malam2 kalo Humaira mangkit nk minum mama handover to papa la....

Such a morning person, she woke up at 5.30 and awake until 6.45. Adoiyaiiii........mama pun rasa nak demam dah nih...dah la air-cond sejuk x sangga ( i am not an aircond tolerate which can caused my body temp higher at nite). She later sleep untill 8 which the nurses came in to weight her and if her body temperature is fine, they will bathe her. Unfortunately, she is not fit to be bathe, agaknya semalam sejuk sgt kot. I just need to changed her diaper, her kimono look a like dress and her swaddle.

It was a good experience on our first nite and today i sleep while she's sleeping and wake up when she needs some milk. Dua2 blh rest...takdak la weng mama mlm ni. And the best thing is she is able to suck my nipple properly since today's afternoon. I am so glad that she can manage to do it and i want her to be healthy. Just can't wait to bring her back home

Perangai terbaru.....mesti tidoq kat riba mama dulu sebelum masuk cot. Tak tidoq kalu mau dok merengek sorang2.....anak mama......such a wonderful feelings

Good News!!!

My little princess is out of the ventilator on thursday morning and she is placed on the baby cot. They swaddles her in a green linen and cover her with few layers of blanket to maintain her body temperature.

I need to be warded tommorrow as they will start to train me and her for breastfeeding. She is able to suck now as nurses trained her with 1cc of milk everytiime they feed her. I can't wait for tommorrow. Anxious to be with her everyday and night. I can't wait to feel like a real mother feeding her baby.

We went for shopping tonight at Jusco One Utama and get few things for our little Humaira as i haven't buy anything for her yet. I bought a baby box few months ago as well as breast pump ( i asked ina to buy it for me from CPH). We bought few clothes, socks, bath towel, face towel. I was so excited looking at those cute clothes. I went to Isetan KLCC earlier and get her pink blanket as well as swaddle blanket (kain bedung). Psssttttt........i bought a bag too which i will make it as a baby bag but i quickly hide it somewhere. Kantoi kalu, habih sekotak beg aku kena bakaq ngn papa Humaira....hehehehe..........

I really can't wait for tommorrow...........